Thursday, July 22, 2010

Do I "love" it?

For awhile now, I have been trying to determine what I want to do in my life. I know that sounds like something a elementary school kid would say, like "when I grow up...". However, it has been a constant struggle for me between what I "like" to do, and what I am "good at". It is very difficult for me to sometiems make a distinction because of my "go for the gold" type-A personality. For example, I went to school originally to go into finance and MIS (management information systems). However, I ended up switching to accounting because I realized (through my first accounting class) that I was "good" in accounting. To be truthful, there were some classes that challenged me but I ended up pulling out with an "A" in all of them. Now, during college this made me feel like... well.. "I liked accounting". But did I? That is where the distinction between what I was "good at" and what I "liked" got blurry. I liked being "the best", I liked feeling like I knew what was going on in my classes, and I "liked" seeing 100% written as a test grade. However, I don't know if I ever really "liked" accounting. Now this is not a new realization for me, but more of a reminder of my previous realization.

Ok, so you may or may not know this about me... but I really like to watch abc family TV series....I know I know.. its sad (really it is!). Yesterday I was watching the latest episode of "Make it or Break it" (a series about elite gymnasts). In the show, there is a gymnast who suffered a huge injury to her back, and finally had a surgery to allow her to compete again. However, since she was out of the game for so long, her "puberty" caught up with her, meaning she started to fill out and grew a few inches. As most of you probably know, intense sports played at a young age can stunt your growth for a time. Anyway, so she had to completely re-examiner her approach to gymnastics. Instead of being a power gymist she would have to be an artist one. Anyway, she is sitting on the steps crying because this means almost re-learning everything, and her coach says to her "Do you love gymnastics for the sport? or do you love it because you are good at it?" I can't remember her answer, but I thought about that question. If I don't love accounting for accounting, and I only love it because I am "good at it", then what do I "love"? So I came up with three things...

1) Cake decorating
2) Singing -Country music of course!
3) Reading the Bible, writing, and researching (I will explain further below)

So, when I started pursuing all three of these things, I kind of felt overwhelmed. I did a little bit of research into the country music world. I have a "few" connections, but to be truthful, it would be a lot of work for probably nothing. It is really difficult to break into that business if you don't do your own song writing. Since, record labels don't accept unsolicited demos anymore, that is out as well. Anyway, I decided that though I love to sing and have been told that I have a talent... I will no longer pursue this. I will continue to sing for fun, but I am not going to have this dream of being a country star. Now, I may try out for Simon Cowell's new show just for fun. However, I am not willing to put in the work and money that it will take for me to pursue this dream. Ok, one down, two to go.

Cake decorating- yes I love this. I am actually making a cake for someone next weekend. I looked into what it would take for me to have a cake business here in Houston. The research was tough and I would definitely have to call the business bureau to determine specifics. However, there are few things I would have to do, 1) register a name, 2) probably have someone come into my kitchen and inspect it etc, 3) get a tax id etc. There are a lot of things that really go into all of this. Now, I probably will do it maybe sometime in the future (we will see). However, right now, this is on the backburner and I will continue to make cakes for fun. On a side note, cakes take a lot of upfront investment and they take a lot of time, so I wouldn't be able to work anymore outside of cakes and I just can't afford that right now.

Bible Study-Ok, this may not make sense to any of you, but for a long time I really have wanted to write. Now, don't judge my writing by my blog (since I do NOT proof these haha.. at all!). More specifically, I have wanted to write Christian literature. A few years ago when I was in college, I went through a specific bible study and I basically wrote about it. I took one thing that seems interesting, referenced other verses and basically made a mini-bible study out of it (on my old blog-which was deleted long ago). I really enjoyed that and I enjoyed hearing the responses from people who got something out of it. Either way, I really want to do that again. Recently, I have had two people in my life ask me questions related to specific verses, or bible studies in general. I found so much joy in researching their question, and writing back the answer. I just love doing this. Right now I am doing a Ruth study and I find it hard to stop at one lesson (though I have to work so I don't have time to do more than one). However, I always want to do more... that is what I WANT to do. I love reading Bible studies writen by others, and I love writing my own small studies, and I love researching different verses (including the greek and hebrew). My biggest issue is survival right now. Since, I can't make a living out of this right now...(and maybe not ever), it just has to sit there, in the background of my mind.

However, on a positive note, I have two things which I know I love. Now, if I could find a way to turn them into things I can do which will help provide for my family as well... that would be a bonus. For now... it is all accounting. :)


1 comment:

  1. Check out this local bakery and see if they might be interested in some "help". It seems to me that aside from being very close to where you live they might appreciate your talent and/or ideas. Worth a look-see anyway...and the name is pretty interesting :-)

    Lindy's Country Cupboard Cake
    319 Riley Fuzzell Road, Spring, TX 77373-2612