Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Grass is Always Greener...

You have all heard that saying "the grass is always greener on the other side". Well.... I think I have truly lived out that saying in my life. I think that when I came to Texas... I felt like this was the "greenest of green grass". Now, I don't know. Now of course... I can definitely say.. that it is greener than Maryland in terms of cost of living. I mean,  Ivan and I would have had to wait a long time to buy a house in Maryland, and we have one here in Texas. However, there are just a few things that are not "greener". For one, I really liked my clients in DC. Now, auditing is a pain... it really is (I mean even ask people who audit...other than me). It is a constant learning curve, with many busy seasons. However, when you are on a client that you "know", it is a lot easier. I "knew" my clients in DC. I was comfortable with auditing them. I also had only ONE busy season. To some extent, I have FOUR here in Houston... since I have quarterly reviews and a year end audit!! Ok, so that is number one (can you tell I am writing this blog during one of those busy times..?). Second, friends are hard to find. Now, don't get me wrong, I didn't have  many friends in Maryland either, so maybe the grass is just "equal". I just feel like in Maryland we were just starting to make more friends before we moved. This is kind of the point I want to stick on for the rest of the blog.... so here we go.

There are some sad realizations that I have come across in the different places I have lived. I find that it is much hard to connect with other Christians... especially at church.  I feel like I am always fighting to be a part of the "inner" group. That is really tough for me since I am an introvert (until I get comfortable etc)... so I normally just give up. I can say that I really haven't made a good friendship with anyone here in Houston yet (now I have only lived here for a few months). You would just think that through church, I would have made one friend. I would say I have definitely made acquaintances... which is great... but I kind of  distinguish acquaintances from friends in this way. Other than the church activities, do you get together? Like, for example.... if I go to church or sunday school and talk to people... that is great. But are those people really my friends? Probably not. Now, if I get together with those people outside of church service, sunday school, or bible study or something like that.. then yes. Like, Ivan and I really miss two friends that we had in Maryland... They were another married couple who we went to lunch with frequently after church. I also often went to lunch during my lunch break with the wife in DC.. which was so great! (I figured I wouldn't mention their names since this is a public blog). We have not really found that relationship here. To be truthful, I figured it would be "more welcoming" here in Texas than in Maryland, but I find that it is either the same or slightly worse.

Now... ALL OF THAT SAID... This is not to say that people have not been friendly to us here. That is not what I am saying at all. I am just saying that normally...we have no one to hang out with or do things outside of our work or church. That can just be pretty depressing... it becomes the same old thing every day.. work, eat, sleep.... work, eat, sleep... with never a "going out with friends" dropped into the mix. Hopefully this is one of those things that if we just "give it time" it will all work out. It is just really tough for the moment... because I feel like everyone else already has their friends with no room for anyone else. This may not be a problem for an extrovert... who sees any person as an opportunity for a friend... and a group of people as an opportunity for a lot of friends... but for an introvert.. this is terrifying.

I am just hoping over time... the grass will get greener over here. I am just hoping it won't take two years like it did in Maryland.  Ya ya..  I know.. another depressing blog...



  1. Sorry that you haven't made good connections yet :( Hopefully they will come soon!

  2. That was the hardest thing about being new when I changed churches after we got married! People would talk to us before Sunday School started, but that was about it. There were Sundays when I didn't want to go because it was so hard being an outsider. That lasted for several months, but now I have some good friends in that class! I can totally identify with you, chica. Just stick it out. Hopefully you'll become buddies with another couple soon!